[...continued from previous post]
Not only are these subjects difficult, I find them hard to practice and learn properly without prescribed homework sets and deadlines. There are no “assignment due” alarms going off every couple of days, no classmates to gauge my progress against, and no textbook chapters or lecture numbers to testify any form of forward movement. I need to aggressively seek learning material: go on the web, search out resources, dig up textbooks, and prescribe myself practice problem sets. (Khan Academy is my crutch so far for this). Completing these faithfully is another challenge, requiring MORE self-motivation than I have. It’s amazing to realize how big a booster being in a real class is. Learning on my own via internet videos just doesn’t have the same rocket fuel effect…
If I give into being lazy one week, if I let myself get frustrated and ignore something that needs practice, I won’t feel any immediate pain- no burning guilt or goading anxiety. But, this is far more deceptive and dangerous than missing an assignment for a course. I would only be fooling myself to indulge in laziness and comfort when I should stay persistently focused on learning difficult topics and developing important skills.
So I share this unpleasant but very beneficial truth to know: the biggest liar (and let-downer) in one’s life is often oneself— not anyone else. I am SO guilty of this. My pain receptors seem to be less sensitive, even numb, when it comes to my own vices— even when they hold me back or even kill me. Knowing how treacherous I can be against myself is the first step to winning… So I must stay vigilant!
Aside from the challenges of self-studying intimidating stuff and staying diligent, research is not so linear and so clear-cut. There is much less sense of control. Although I did set up a rough research schedule and tried to predict the building blocks I may need, things seem to be congealing at a unfamiliar rate and in unfamiliar ways. Though the path is cloudy at times, things clear up well with a great supervisor: mine has steered me away from slime pits and quicksands many times already, and continues helping me keep weeds off my path.
The last great defense against low spirits is HUMOUR— I can better deal with setbacks and unexpected problems when I maintain a fun attitude. This drawing from Twisteddoodles.com is a treat (it’s safe!). I am sure it’s not unique to scientists but also applicable to architects, artists, musicians, detectives, and all other seekers of excellence. In any discipline, frustrated attempts and failures are simply a reality of the growing process.
Aside from a good attitude and lots of humour, peer support and student fellowship are great remedies against those distracting extra Youtube windows… So help me stay focused by sharing some words of encouragement! !